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Discussion Starter · #1 ·

1. If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside

2. When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain

3. When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark

4. You roll it over and don't get upset

5. Your mom and sister can't get in without help

6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb

7. You puke when you see a RAV4

8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush

9. When a low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you and you get out and bitch-slap the driver

10. If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts

11. When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days

12. When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail -I don't see a trail!"

13. When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ and XJ to your spell-checker

14. When you can see OVER a Suburban

15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up

16. When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win

17. When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off

18. When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless

19. When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break

20. If your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind your house

21. When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again

22. You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield

23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents

24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints

25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling

26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other

27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof

28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance

29. Even worse the car wash won't let you in

30. You fix almost everything yourself

31. When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser

32. When you have all your credit card numbers memorized

33. When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground

34. If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it

35. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it

36. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway

37. You are dating the Service, Parts or Sales Manager at the Jeep dealership

38. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily

39. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway

40. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep

41. Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel

42. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps

43. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.

44. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage

45. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident

46. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep

47. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.

48. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm

49. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.

50. Your wallet is always empty.

51. When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Jeep

52. When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep

1997 TJ w/ 33's & 1984 CJ7 V8/35's

7,958 Posts
You just described my LIFE! We haven't plowed our driveway in at least 5 years, just lock them in and drive. Got stuck in the driveway yesterday, drift was deeper than I thought. And washing doesn't help, I use the mud to keep people from seeing the holes in the body, helps with an inspection, no one wants to crawl under it with mud dripping off. We do go shopping during snowstorms, there's no one in the store to make a line. Aaaah, the joys of jeep ownership. Yes, JEEP stands for Just Empty Every Pocket, but it also stands for Just Enough Essential Parts. BTW, I have not been able to work on my vehicle because ALL my tools were in the jeep, which was at another friends house. Nice post, keep 'em coming!

'81 CJ-8 Scrambled!
GM151/SM465/NP205 twinstick/7"Lift/33"TSL's/IHC D44's 4.10's Lock'd

Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Very True! How's about

53. You check this BBS more than your email

It's an addiction...


Discussion Starter · #7 ·
54. No one uses your parking spot at work because it's caked in mud.
EVERYTIME it rains while I'm at work my parking spot ends up looking like a small bog!

/wwwthreads_images/icons/crazy.gifJust Empty Every Pocket/wwwthreads_images/icons/crazy.gif

630 Posts
Been there.

Done that.

Loose nut behind the wheel
Another right-wing conservative.....
Born and raised in Jeep-Town

6,394 Posts
/wwwthreads_images/icons/smile.gif Owners of coin-operated car washes really don't like Jeeps very much./wwwthreads_images/icons/frown.gif Can you guess why?/wwwthreads_images/icons/laugh.gif

I never believe any statistics unless my moonguys /wwwthreads_images/icons/crazy.gif/wwwthreads_images/icons/wink.gif made 'em up themselves.

7,409 Posts
Too funny/wwwthreads_images/icons/smile.gif. And true/wwwthreads_images/icons/blush.gif. Thanks for the laugh!!!!!!!!

"No officer I haven't been drinking , Thats just how my Jeep drives"

Discussion Starter · #11 ·
LOL.... That's the best.

I feel at home now. everything except the snow stuff.... what's snow, ice etc.... damn So cal weather
Ohh yeah, and haven't rolled it yet, not looking forward to it either

What about those of us that have jeeps that dont leak, but mark their terittory??


to hell with it, lets go wheelin'

3,478 Posts
#3 and #24 are the most familiar to me. My Haynes manual was so dirty I went and bought another copy. And did I throw away the old one?? NOOOO!! I just keep the old one in the Jeep; after all, I did mark up the vacuum diagram with all the lines that they forgot to draw in./wwwthreads_images/icons/crazy.gif As for #3, I got a nice "beauty mark" on my passenger side rocker panel, thanks to a cedar stump that I didn't see!!/wwwthreads_images/icons/crazy.gif/wwwthreads_images/icons/blush.gif/wwwthreads_images/icons/wink.gif

Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Hell, they're funny. . .but they're true!

How about:

55. Winterizing your daily driver involves the usual stuff plus three rolls of duct tape and buying a new set of long johns.

Bone stock rigs: '81 CJ7, '96 ZJ. Moab every summer!

Discussion Starter · #14 ·
How about

56. Your idea of air conditioning is driving faster.

1998 Dodge Ram 1500 Quad Cab 4x4 Laramie SLT Sport Plus--5.9L 360, auto, 3.92s, antispin, BFG A/Ts.

Discussion Starter · #15 ·
57. When you take buddies on a new trail you can show them how many times you've been there by your paint scraping and dent marks on that one %$^#! rock.

Happy Jeepin'

Inquire about my witty original saying contest/wwwthreads_images/icons/crazy.gif

Discussion Starter · #17 ·
60. When you say the word Jeep and your dog gets excited and jumps in. (Its true)

2000 TJ and 81 CJ5


Discussion Starter · #18 ·
61. When it snows out and you are trying to find a parking spot in a busy parking spot where there is no space up close! You Just make your own space by parking right in the front row on top of one of the snow piles :)

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