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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't think that there's anything in this world that packs more destructive power than "a little umphh". In its various forms, "a pinch more" or "just a tad" or "put a little elbow grease into it", "a little umphh" is deadly. I believe that a little umphh has more power than TNT, a-bombs, and maybe even more power than my girlfriend when she's angry. Just when you get a bolt pretty tight, you realize that it needs "a little umphh" to be perfectly tight. And you give it that umphh...and it twists off, breaks, strips, or just plain sneers at you. You could be trying to tighten a 2" thick bolt by hand...just when you try to put "a little umphh" into it, that bolt will break. Yesterday, we were trying to bolt a bracket on the combine. The nut for the bolt had to be about 14" back into this narrow steel channel. Being the creative problem solvers that we are, we brazed the nut to a brazing rod, and used the rod to fish it into place. It worked great, we tightened up the bolt, and my dad gave it "a little umphh." The head snapped clear off, and the remainder of the bolt was lodged in the hole, unwilling to move up (because it only had 1/4" of clearance before it hit the top of the channel. Out came the blue wrench. I don't think the most advanced, computerized torque wrench in the world would save the hardest bolt from "a little umphh."

Measure once, cut twice...or is that the other way around?
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
How true how true..There is another little thing people do that always amazes and amuses me as well,no matter if it is a guy nailing a one inch thick board
to a foot thick beam with 20 penny nails,or a guy bolting together 2 pieces of steel with 1" shank grade 8 bolts and using a 6 foot long
cheater pipe to tighten them,there are those after they are done, grab whatever it is and give it a little shake to see if it is tight.I have even saw
this "little shake" done to pieces that were just welded together as well.I am not being critical here at all,its just funny to watch people do
this Lil shake test..Sorta like what George Carlin said in one of his routines,you misplace something,you go thru a drawer ever so carefully,
discover it isnt there,and five minutes later go back and search the same drawer again LOL "it might just just be there this time!!"
Or you can sit in the middle of a empty room/floor with one screwdriver and suddenly POOF! its gone!! you look all around to no avail,then
suddenly there it lays in plain sight right in front of you,then you curse under your breath that someone HAD to take it !!
And worse yet,why no matter what wrench you need,its always in the bottom of the tool box,under the tool box,beside the tool box,or least
the very last one you pick up,and that ONE piece of loose grit hangs under your car or truck just waiting on you to crawl under it so it can
drop in your eye,or sometimes rattle down into the deep dark depths of your ear...Isnt life fun LOL

 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Ahhh yeah, theres nothing like that feeling of a bolt getting easier to turn.. right before the head snaps off.

 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I know exactly what yall mean.
That is why I alsays buy at least 8 or 9 spark plugs when changinf them on my jeep.
I don't know about yall but sometime my tools mysteriously grow wings and go flying across the garage. Especially right after I have just broken that bolt that I have been trying to get on for the past hour.

Kiley /wwwthreads_images/icons/cool.gif
94YJ
Alittle better than stock.
And now with a future Jeeper on the way.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I know exactly what yall mean.
That is why I alsays buy at least 8 or 9 spark plugs when changing them on my jeep.
I don't know about yall but sometime my tools mysteriously grow wings and go flying across the garage. Especially right after I have just broken that bolt that I have been trying to get on for the past hour.

Kiley /wwwthreads_images/icons/cool.gif
94YJ
Alittle better than stock.
And now with a future Jeeper on the way.
 

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/wwwthreads_images/icons/smile.gif I have a 7/16" X 1/2" box end wrench about 7" long(maybe even 8" long). EVERY TIME one of my little helpers uses it, I have to be RIGHT THERE telling him over and over: "Don't forget to QUIT!" If he is tightening a 1/4" bolt with the 7/16" hex nut that they have, it is a SURE THING he will twist it off if I don't watch him like a hawk!/wwwthreads_images/icons/crazy.gif Novice mechanics often have to be reminded: "Don't forget to QUIT!"/wwwthreads_images/icons/wink.gif

CJDave
I never believe any statistics unless my moonguys /wwwthreads_images/icons/crazy.gif/wwwthreads_images/icons/wink.gif made 'em up themselves.
 

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THINGS I HATE:
I hate it when my tools get stolen, and I find out the thief hid them in my hip pocket after a hour long search...
I hate it when my tools disappear, and show up in the last place you would expect, the tool box...
I hate it when threats, cussing, an act of congress, or begging & crying wont keep that cotton-pickin' air chuck on the tool...
I hate when the water/ oil/ or what ever drips onto the drop light bulb, after I just spent ten minutes getting into position under something... (usually 3 inches from your face!)
I hate the law that says the last precision drill bit, on a Sunday afternoon, has to break as soon as it touches the work piece...
I hate it that the one socket I need always gets dropped and rolls into the most
inaccessible nook in the shop...
I hate it when all of my 1/2" drive sockets are handy, but the only drive tools you can find are 3/8".
I hate it when I spend 2 hours trying to get something loose, and my dad walks up and takes it straight out in 20 seconds...
I hate it when you are up to your elbows in a transmission, and the so called hired 'help' walks up and says, 'What ya' workin' on?'... (The space shuttle you moron!)
I hate it when I'm done installing a freshly rebuilt transmission, and find the snap ring from the 1st/ reverse piston on the bench...
I hate it when during the third trip to the parts store the guy says, 'Are you sure it didn't fit?'... (of course it fit, I just find myself strangely attracted to you...)
I hate it when someone says, 'It was the last place I looked' ...
(Of course it was the last place you looked for it, you would be a moron to keep looking for it after you found it, or am I missing something?)
And my all time favorite...
'The guy down at (take your pick) Mufflers Or Us, Auto-Jerks, The Junk Yard, Wal-Mart, The Lawn Mower Shop, has a 3/4 race cam and he says you are full of it, and I should take my car to him...' (I think you should too...)

So many cats, so few recipes...
 
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
LOL lota good stuff there for sure,one other thing i just love too is the wife wanting to know,right down to the second "how long are you going to be
getting finished?" so she can go back to walmart and get something she didnt need earlier in the day when you were there ..
Speaking of installing transimissions and missing a lil snap right,years ago i popped in on my cousin who was just finishing up putting
a new tranny in a Olds Toronado FWD,455 cu in.i happened to walk around the back of the car and in the trunk was the old converter,i asked,'Get a new converter for that? answer was......................................no........................................oops!

 

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One of my favorites is the ultra miniature guidence system incorporated into small parts. Oh there could be 300 square feet of clean flat floor under the vehicle.......but the dropped part manages to find the 2 inch square drain hole (primary target) or the only spot under the hood/chassis that can deny you access (secondary target).

GeeAea


Figures don't lie ....... but liars sure do figure.
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Some of my Dad's famous last words (I've heard them more than once) in a voice with some strain in it as he is tightening whatever "I'ts...not...going...anywhere...from...there..umph then a snap, then an "ah, sh*t!" More is not always better.

 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I can never find tools in the basement. After an hour of looking I get my dad. He ends up finding it right where I'm standing. Always.

Robert87yj/wwwthreads_images/icons/tongue.gif
engine rebuild w/4.0 head done, now for the MPI
 
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Robert, its worse for me, cuz I have to get the girlfriend to find something, generally because she moved it, put it back, or otherwise has an omnipsient knowlege of where everything is. 'Did you look there?' yes dear ' Look what I found!' where was it? 'Location X' where it belongs.. <G>

Florida Mud CJ-5
'77 RB304, t-150 D20 4" 35" swampers
 

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How about this- Whenever I lose my tools- my father ends up stepping on them and getting hurt! The same thing happened all the time when I used to play with leggos...

 
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
My personal philosophy is "Crossed threads are tight threads" it seems to be easier to find that 1/2 turn before the head snaps off tight that way... try it

91 YJ, 4.0, 5pd, SOA, 35c (c stands for crap) w/ detroit, 30front, w/ tru-track, 4.56's, 32's
 
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