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ED: These twits are doomed! PERFECT!!!!

Seeking refuge from cold, damp Market Street last Wednesday, I pushed open an unlocked door near the corner of Second Street, stepped onto an escalator, and found myself amid a couple of hundred environmentalists eagerly waiting to be declared extinct.

"With fond memories, a heavy heart, and a desire for progress, I say to you tonight that environmentalism is dead," declared former Sierra Club President Adam Werbach to a crowd that included current leaders of top enviro groups such as the Sierra Club, Rainforest Action Network, and Earth Island Institute.

As it loses basic battles such as curbing pollution, environmentalism has shown it's as good as dead. The movement's members should therefore stop focusing on a single cause and instead advocate for broader leftist ideals, Werbach urged.

"Choose your side. Are you a progressive or a conservative? If you're a conservative," Werbach declared, "we wish you well, but we need you to leave this movement."
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