First, let me apoligize for the length of this reply, but it's meant in ernest...
I can't think of a more trying time for a son than to see his mother ill. My hope and prayers are with you, your mother an family. The times are trying, but much can be learned. May I suggest you learn the Five Stages of Grief as defined by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and apply these stages to the situtation your mother finds herself thrust into? I find it's applicaiton very helpful on a daily basis when talking to people who are going through any sort of upheaval in their lives.
It may help you to give her needed support through out the ordeal she must now walk through. Please permit me to restate those stages:
The first stage is denial
Upon hearing the diagnosis your Mo will be in shock. You're seeing this now... and the doctors ain't giving her much time to react There'll be the "No, not me." reaction. This reaction permits your mom as well as the family to rally and develop other defenses to the cancer.
Next comes anger or resentment
"Why me?" is the question asked next. Blame is often directed against the doctor, nurses, the family, and God. Be prepared for a little lashing out. Just accept her thoghts... and leave the anger unjudged. Silent support is best at this time.
The third stage is bargaining
"Yes me, but-" "If you'll just give me five years, God, I'll ..." This is a temporary truce beween her and God, and perhaps you and the family. I'm sure she's got unsettled issues she's thinking about at this time. Some of them are best left unsaid... so don't pry 'em outta her.
The fourth stage is depression
Here you're Mom will say, "Yes, me." She'll decide to fight cancer with courage and admit that it the cancer really is happening to her. This is a trying time probably will bring depression and resentment. You'll see that your family will suffer through this stage too!
Finally comes acceptance
Now's a time you're Mom and your family will face the cancer calmly. That seems kinda stupid, but think about it...when ever you fight an opponent... do you do your best when you can be calm and think or when you flail about like a windmill?
This is going to be the most difficult thing she and you have to do. Your mom will be withdraw, silent and reflective. Don't confuse this with giving up, just an assurance.
Remember, just like you (and we) are praying for recovery, the understanding and acceptance of God's will; your Mom doing the same thing. But she's also praying in your behalf to relieve your suffering. That's just what Mom's do because she's a Mom and dosen't like to see her kids suffer... even if it's beause she's sick.
She'll be the first one to get the answer to those prayers because it's happening to her. She'll let you know what that answer is in due time.
Your job... just be there, give her lots of love, urge her to fight, recall the good times in life, and let her know what she's got to look foward to in the next coming years...and then make sure those good things come.
