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6,870 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
You asked about the 'Green Weenie'...
Having been a soldier longer than I care to admit, here is a quick run down...

The 'Green Weenie' is what you are taking up the butt evertime some dipstick changes his mind in the pentagon or white house.

The 'Green Weenie' is anyone in command in the rear that has never been on the front lines, which is quite a few now...
Compiled circumstances or events that make you question your sanity.

Like issuing 700 computers to 60 cops in one small town in Iraq, and only about half of that 60 cops know how to read...

Or sending ammunition and shower curtians to a unit that requisted food and water...

Or for the third summer in a row, the guys don't have sun screen & insect repelant in the summer...

Or issuing rifles that were intended for moderate to tropical climates in the desert...

Or issuing pistol magazines that won't work when kept loaded more than two weeks...

Or making troops drag around overshoes, artic parkas and tropical rain gear in a desert enviorment...

The list goes on, but you get the idea!

Typical Green Weenie patrol...
You're in the desert, it's 124° in the shade, and you are carrying a field pack with an arctic parka and tropical rain gear wearing green camo cloths so you can 'Blend In' with native terrain...

Your commander is a 'Liberal Arts' collage graduate that can't shave yet and took a 90 day ROTC course, and when you complain he's incompetent and wets the bed you are informed his daddy is a big shot at the pentagon or a senator...

All your radio frequencies don't work and the code books are three weeks out of date, and you just spent 12 hours under sniper fire, waiting for radio batteries that are either the wrong kind or dead when they get there,
Or you get a toilet seat instead of batteries...
(FUBAR- Fu#%ed Up Beond All Reason)

Your resupply air drop lands behind enemy lines,
or in the middle of a lake,
or mine field...

When chow and clean socks arrive the MFs in the rear already picked through everything and all that is left is 'Vegetarian Spinach Casserole' and Cool-Aid in giant packages that has been wet and is like colored cement...
Someone stole all the coffee, hot sauce and food heaters, so you have to choke down cold greasy paste...
(REMF- Rear Echlon Muther [email protected]#er)

After about 3 months of crawling on your belly to keep from being sniped at, and you haven't seen a full meal or a shower in about the same time frame...
Then just when you think things can't get worse, some dipstick with an Oak Leaf on his uniform shows up and wants to pop a surprise inspection!
You get chewed out for not having shined boots, clean uniform or proper shave or hair cut!!!!!!!!!
(Where are the enemy snipers when you REALLY need them?)

You bet your sweet ass you are in the Army now!

Murphy's Laws Of Combat.
Murphy's law paraphrased:
...What can go wrong will, and at the worst possible time and place...

Friendly fire... Isn't.

The enemy WILL find a way.

The easy way is always mined.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

If the enemy is in range, So are you.

The only thing more accurate than enemy fire, Is friendly fire.

Look unimportant, The enemy may be low on ammo.

Your insertion point will always be on the enemy brigade parade grounds.

Professionals are predictable, It's the amateurs that are dangerous.

If the attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

If you can't remember, The Claymore is pointed at you.

Never draw enemy fire, It irritates your team mates.

When you secure an area, make sure you tell the enemy.

When you're short of everything but enemy, You've found the combat zone.

Your field extraction point will always be on an enemy target range.

If it's tough for the enemy to enter, it's tougher for you to leave.

The enemy diversion you ignored will be the main attack.

Remember, you weapons were made by the lowest bidder.

852 Posts
Ask and you shall receive!!

Thanks for the info JYG - I admit, I was clueless.

And now I know -- thanks!!!!


6,870 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yup, there you go...

We were in Central America in the mid 80's and requested more Malaria/Yellow Fever/ect pills and got Kotex- Huge sanitary napkins!/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif

The green weenie strikes again!

The guys in Korea requested waterproof covers for sleeping bags and radio equipment and got 1,400lbs. of instant tapioca pudding.

11,504 Posts
The guys in Korea requested waterproof covers for sleeping bags and radio equipment and got 1,400lbs. of instant tapioca pudding.

[/ QUOTE ]

So what's the problem? Tapioca will soak up a LOT of water! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
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