James,
I have to agree with all the above regarding gears and lift. 2.5 Is all you need with 32's and 4.56 is way to low. 4.10 Would be a better all around gear, you can even go to 33's and still get good drivability. Lets look at your costs.
Tires...about $600 installed.
Gears...about $500 NOT installed (more on this in a min)
Locker..range $300-$600 depending on type
Lift....range $350-lots.
As you can see you are going to be hard pressed to do all of the above on your budget.
First is the tires. Find the best price you can and buy them. As long as you don't go off road you can drive it for awhile as is. I had 32's on my 84 CJ with 3.31 gears and it wasn't too bad. You need to verify what gears you do have. If you have 3.73, I wouldn't worry about it right now.
Next is the lift. One important point to understand is that once you put it one, your stuck with it unless you want to waste all that money. Considering that you are one of the few that has a wonderful spouse who obviously shares your interest, I would recomend putting on a lift that will not ride like an M1A1. Most of the lifts in the low price range ride stiff (experience talking here). Go back and read some of the old posts...at least 2 months back. One option is an SOA (Spring Over Axle). This will keep your stock springs and soft ride..but you end up with about 5". If you have access to a welder and some helpfull buddies, this may be your cheapest choice. Make sure you read all the notes on problems that a lift causes...i.e., driveline vibration, break lines, etc.
Gears and Lockers. This depends on how hard you drive it. The lockright is ok for light duty..the Detroit or ARB being the best for heavy duty. I like the ARB because I can leave it unlocked when I'm on the open road. Once again, go read the old posts on this subject. Which ever way you go, do the locker and gears at the same time. It will cut the labor in half. As for gears...I have done it and screwed it up the first time. I bought Genuine gears from 4 Wheel Wholesale so they will replace them for free. Labor to install gears usually runs $175-250 per diff. If you think you can handle it, then you can save quite a bit by doing it yourself. Check out Drive Train Direct. They have some of the best prices. I got my axles and locker from them.
Good luck with the jeep .....and the new son...
John......southern CA
84CJ7, 3"lift, 32"BFG, 4.10's, ARB Locker, Solid Axle's, Durabak