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for the noo'b suzuki owners

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for the noo\'b suzuki owners

> maybe some people have not yet read this <

You know you have a real Suzuki if...

It's smaller than everything else on the trail.
You go out to get the Sunday paper and come back on Monday without it.
You use a hose to clean the outside and inside of your truck.
You own it outright.
The best route from point A to point B is through the mud, rockpile, or over the mountain (or all of the above).
When a scratch or dent is a beauty mark.
You roll it over and don't get upset.
Your mom and sister can't get in without help.
You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb.
You search for trails by helicopter.
You puke when you see a RAV4 or CR-V.
You get custom pin-striping from trail brush.
A low-rider Samurai pulls up next to you and you go bitch-slap the owner.
It takes more than 6 hours to run out to get donuts.
You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
You take your friends 'wheeling and they say "What trail? I don't see a trail!"
You've been forced to add SJ410, SJ413, Escudo and Vitara to your spell-checker.
Your friends won't ride with you because they don't want to wind up in the desert in the middle of the night.
Your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Suzuki.
You finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Suzuki.
You can see over a Suburban.
You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up.
Your nerf bars battle rocks and win.
It rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off.
You drive around to look at Christmas lights topless.
You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break.
Your "parts dept." is on blocks behind your house.
You take your Mom 4-wheeling and she has to help you flip your Suzuki back up onto its wheels again.
You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield.
You get more heat from the holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents.
Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints.
Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them 4-wheeling.
You spend more time under your Suzuki than under your significant other.
Winter comes and you can't remember where you left the top.
You spend more on car washes than on insurance.
Even the car wash won't let you in.
You complain about everything, but smile when you fix everything yourself.
You think Mud Brown should be a factory paint color.
You feel sorry for someone in a $90,000 Hummer.
You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground.
You have all your credit card numbers memorized.
You get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it.
Your significant other refuses to get in your Suzuki.
You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway.
You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at the Suzuki dealership.
You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily.
You can't hear your $5000 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway.
You have a high-water mark inside the Suzuki.
Any tire that isn't waist-high looks like a bagel.
You are constantly passed up on freeway hills.
Your passengers scream "We are going to die!!!"
You go through a car wash and clog the facility's drains.
You can push-start the engine without anyone else's help.

> just thought it would be nice to post it again. <

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Re: for the noo\'b suzuki owners

You forgot the Big One:
No, it's not a F*%^$*&&#%#'in JEEP!!!
Sarge...
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