#4 is a momentary switch to kick the continuous hold solenoid long enough for you to jump start yourself.
Momentary, meaning that the switch returns it's self when you let go. Spring loaded.
I prefer an old time push button starter switch, but I'm a bit old and fat. Some of the younger guys will no doubt install neon lights and music around the switch...
As far as monitor both batteries, they are both connected together when the engine is running, so your amp or volt gauge should be a pretty good indicator...
You can install a second volt gauge on the second battery if you want to, but it will draw on the battery when the vehicle is off unless you remember to shut it off every time, or install yet another solenoid to shut it off....
Every third oil change or so I would swap batteries side for side so they discharge and draw evenly....
The primary battery is going to do the most work starting the vehicle unless you remember to push the emergency button every time you start the vehicle, but that will be hard on the solenoid and witches...
I think I'd rather just swap batteries side for side every third or fourth oil change....
That's around 10 or 12 thousand miles for you guys that need to write it down somewhere....
Pretty much this same rig with out the isolator solenoid is in every dual battery pickup in the world, and they work fine there...
The whole idea of the isolator was to keep you from running BOTH batteries down while winching or the kids leave the radio or headlights on when the vehicle isn't running...
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