[352]

Don\'t know what to do????

Well after 5.5 years of marriage, 8.5 years together and 3 children, My wife has decided to leave. Our problems started about 6 months ago and no matter how hard I try I can't change her mind. This weekend she is moving out.

I am really upset by this and have to figure out alot of things real quick like. One of the first is what vehicle does she get? She doesn't want the payment on the XL-7 and I just started lifting the Sidekick. She also wants me to assume the mortgage and all the other bills. Somehow I think that this realy sucks. Even though she doesn't want any thing except the livingroom furniture and the twins bed. Should I be happy that I am getting all that I am getting or is it the short end of the stick

I am so confused and the Meds aren't helping!

 

[freebird01]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

hey man,

that really sucks...i never seen that comming...if you want to chat shoot me an email and i can give you a buzz....sorry about not calling on sunday...ended up installing a new tub and shower in the house...

even though i dont have an answer to your question, if you need anything give me a hollar!

J

 

[wildweasel]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

I have not gone through this thank god, but from those who have , Get a lawyer and get it all down on paper legal like ASAP.
What about custody? I am assuming that you have tried counseling? If you have been trying and she just wants out there isn't much you can do It sucks and that's all there is to it. cowboy up and drive on. all you can do. try to keep it civil but don't be surprised if it isn't.
You have my email if you need to talk I will give you my number too.

As bad as things get you still have the kids to think about,
and your friends.

 

[352]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

Thanks Guys,
I have been trying for the last 6 months to get her to counseling. We went once to the wrong therapist and she wouldn't go again. Now I am afraid it is too late. This all just SUCKS!

 

[87zuke]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

Like Wildweasel said get a GOOD lawyer. I have been there and unfortunatly my lawyer was not that great but because she wanted a clean break and there were no kids it was a done deal. There will be a fair amount of stress ahead and above all do not turn to the bottle. I did after the ordeal and was heading for disaster whena Friend intervened. Stay close to your friends and family and take care of the Kids needs. If you want to talk send me a PM. Take care. Jim

 

[CrowHorse]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

Been there, done that and still have the "T" shirt....

You've been given sound advice and there's not much I can add to it.....

Seek the support of family and friends.....

If the situation starts to get ugly, stand tall and follow the straight path.....

Always do the right thing for the young ones... Set an example they can be proud of....

Never trash talk your spouse regardless of how down and dirty it gets....

The emotional pain will burn like fire. I found comfort when I took a hikes in the wilderness. These walks I took were good companions to clear thought.......

If you need a good ear, PM me and I'll call to listen.....

 

[DannyL]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

In reply to:

Been there, done that and still have the "T" shirt....

[/ QUOTE ]
Crow you took the words right out of my mouth!!!
Great minds think alike.......

Jeff I know what you're going through.
The boys are right, use friends, family, hobbies to keep you busy. If I look back on my divorce and had to do it again, I'd suck it up and move on a lot faster. I wasted WAY too much time on someone who just plain didn't care about me.
Lifes like a box of chocolate, next one might be alot sweeter....
Take care of YOURSELF.......

 

[CTBrent]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

Well, it sounds like you deffinately need to beat ride my Zuggy when it is down at GZ like we mentioned before.

Like others have said If you need a hand give a shout out.

 

[341]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

Been through it twice, the second time only left with what I could carry in my zuki. My first time I lost my son to, and I finally got him back after 11 years of him NOT in my life. Material things are un-important, the kids are everything. Reconcile if you can and WANT to, but make sure the kids are priority. Crow speaks true, as always....

 

[oldfartzuk]

Re: Don\'t know what to do????

I'm sorry to hear of your problems. 44 years ago I married my spouse. Today marriage is far from the death to us part vow that usually is a part of the vows we make. Now it seems that when a partner slips or dollars are short that it's just to easy to dispose of your partner and seek someone else. If my spouse and I didn't learn to roll with the flow and to forgive each other of our shortcomings and my wrongful hurting interlude of the staight and narrow we would have gone down the path of divorce. We stuck it out and now in our shadow years we have something that is beautiful and we depend upon each other.

I don't have any words of wisdom that will make it right for you other than to give it your best shot and be humble and try to solicit forgiveness from each other for whatever. If possible learn to "roll with the flow" and learn to laugh a life's problems together.

So sorry, that it's so easy now to just shed years of togetherness. As crow says be civil to each other, especially when your children are near. It becomes more difficult if the children are put into the position of taking sides. Remember that whatever happens the kids will always be yours and hers, not mine or yours.

Good Luck, been there, almost done that look for devine guidance, it helps.

oldfartzuk