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post #1 of (permalink) Old 08-15-2001, 05:19 PM
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Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

My wife really has nothing to do all day except surf the web and find stuff like this, enjoy!

Dear Diary:
May 30th:
Just moved to Dallas, Texas...Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed 2 days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like fried cat. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down a little, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 90. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.
Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like a dead cat!!
Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt ass and fried cat.
Aug. 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do [censored] for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert?? Water rationing will be next, so $1700 worth of cactus just might dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this heat.
Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 113 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking Texas.


Neal the Zukiguy

88.5 Weber carb, header, 4.16 t-case, 31x10.5 M/T's, 2" s/r, 2 1/2" bod lift, front tube, Swift seats, on-board air
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post #2 of (permalink) Old 08-15-2001, 05:46 PM
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Re: Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

lol.....that was as funny as...well, you know! Anyway..it's kind of been like that here in good 'ol sourthern Indiana....gotta love humidity..couldn't sweat without it!

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post #3 of (permalink) Old 08-16-2001, 05:44 PM
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Re: Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

Is this for real?

DannyL

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post #4 of (permalink) Old 08-17-2001, 09:29 AM
 
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Re: Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

I posted yesterday maybe the thing didnt take... Anyway I really got a kick out of this post. I laughed so hard I woke my wife and daughter up from a nap. I read one very similar to this but the family moved to Maine and spoke about the snow, etc. Anyone know where this story can be found? )

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post #5 of (permalink) Old 08-17-2001, 10:10 AM
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Re: Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

Your cat exploded?

got zook? I do, 88.5!
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post #6 of (permalink) Old 08-17-2001, 10:10 AM
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Re: Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

Your cat exploded?

got zook? I do, 88.5!
http://www.geocities.com/bik3r
29x10.5 SS TSL SX* Calmini Header,SPOA,Lights, Dupicolor,Z-bar,Xenon lights,diamond plate rockers,tubes front/rear/sides!
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post #7 of (permalink) Old 08-17-2001, 01:27 PM
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Re: Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

As soon as I get back home, I will try to dig up that one about the cold and snow...I know I have it....somewhere.

SPUDZUKI
'87 stock Samurai, lots of work to be done
post #8 of (permalink) Old 08-17-2001, 02:41 PM
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Re: Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

Man thats a real funny story made me LOL, by the way has any one told you about swamp coolers they work almost as well as an air conditioner and are cheaper to buy and easier to repair, easy enough that you can do it your self.

Take care of the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.
post #9 of (permalink) Old 08-17-2001, 06:21 PM
 
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Re: Another gem from my wife, read and laugh

Steelerfan, down here in the southern humidity, swamp coolers don't do squat. They are also called "evaporative coolers" because the evaporation of the water running through the pads is what causes the drop in temperature. Well, it is so darn humid that the evaporation doesn't happen. Even the big box stores like Home Depot have real honest to goodness A/C. I wonder what their bill is like...

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