Another gem from my wife, read and laugh
My wife really has nothing to do all day except surf the web and find stuff like this, enjoy!
Just moved to Dallas, Texas...Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed 2 days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like fried cat. No more pets in this heat.
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down a little, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 90. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like a dead cat!!
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt ass and fried cat.
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do [censored] for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert?? Water rationing will be next, so $1700 worth of cactus just might dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this heat.
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 113 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking Texas.
Neal the Zukiguy
88.5 Weber carb, header, 4.16 t-case, 31x10.5 M/T's, 2" s/r, 2 1/2" bod lift, front tube, Swift seats, on-board air