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post #1 of (permalink) Old 11-12-2002, 08:52 AM Thread Starter
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OT...what to while the wife shops...PLEASE READ

while she shops these Fifteen things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking her sweet
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code
3 in housewares" and see what happens.
5. Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Move a "CAUTION WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding
department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why
can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while
you pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if
he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different
sized funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say
"PICK ME, PICK ME!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the intercom, assume the fetal
position and scream 'NO, NO, It's those voices again!!!"
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey we're out of
toilet paper!!!
i hope you ya'll like thisen.
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post #2 of (permalink) Old 11-12-2002, 09:47 PM
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Re: OT...what to while the wife shops...PLEASE READ

you dont need a wife or spouse for that. Thats how I keep sane.
post #3 of (permalink) Old 11-13-2002, 03:43 AM
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Re: OT...what to while the wife shops...PLEASE READ

[img]images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] that just made my morning ...thanks i needed a good laugh.
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post #4 of (permalink) Old 11-13-2002, 08:41 AM
 
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Re: OT...what to while the wife shops...PLEASE REA

This was freaking hilarious! Wish i would have read it before yesterday when my husband took me to walmart after work!
Rae
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post #5 of (permalink) Old 11-13-2002, 10:06 AM
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Re: OT...what to while the wife shops...PLEASE READ

LMFAO, that's great Jimmie, glad to see there are other people with twisted senses of humor out there [img]images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]
post #6 of (permalink) Old 11-13-2002, 04:57 PM
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Re: OT...what to while the wife shops...PLEASE READ

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. (I really wanna try this one!!)

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.


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