Are you an *******? - Off-Road Forums & Discussion Groups
The NOT-Off-Road Lounge Talk any topic NOT related to Off-Road vehicles. ESTABLISHED COMMUNITY MEMBERS ONLY - NO SPAMMERS.

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of (permalink) Old 04-04-2005, 09:40 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,952
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Are you an *******?

Well, fasten your seatbelt kids, here we go… (Cue up the Prodigy CD-The Fat of The Land- Track 1, Push play now…)

If you're talking on your cell phone and driving a car, you're an *******.

If you wear Ugg boots in the middle of July, you’re an *******. Wait scratch that. If you have ever worn Ugg boots, you’re an *******.

If you think you’re pretty and can cut in line at the club, but you’re still not putting out, you’re an *******.

If you ever called yourself a “souljah”, you’re an *******.

If your out at the bar with the guys, and you're all wearing the same kind of trendy striped shirt, you’re an *******.

If you still have a “Vote for John Kerry” bumper sticker on your car, truck, or SUV, you’re an *******. The election is over, deal with it!

If you walk your dog down the street and you don’t pick up your dogs ****, you’re an *******.

If you ever called George Ganoe an *******, you should be beaten, he’s the nicest guy alive, and you’re an *******.

If you’re the manager of my apartment and you don’t return my calls about the maintenance problems I have in this ****hole, yep you guessed it; you’re an *******. I hope this apartment building burns!

If you own a pet less than five pounds, dress it, and carry it around town with you, you’re an *******.

If you jump out from the side of the street unexpectedly at a cross walk in West Hollywood, staring at me because I came to a screeching stop in my truck, nearly hitting your ass; and then point at me when you cross the street like I’m the *******…nope, you got it backwards, you’re the *******!

If you don’t tip your waitress, valet, bellhop, or taxi driver, you’re an *******.

If my smoking cigarettes bothers you and we’re outside, yet you need to make a comment, you’re an *******.

If you use big college words when you speak, even though it's not necessary, you’re an *******.

If your T-Mobile Side Kick gets hacked online, exposing the phone numbers and email addresses of all your Hollywood friends, you’re an *******.

If you ever tried to commit suicide and failed miserably, you’re an *******.

If you left your daughter in the parking lot of a super market and she became orphaned and had to live with an old guy named Henry during the 80’s, you’re an *******.

If you protested the presidential inauguration, stopped traffic with your signs, and made me and thousands of others late for a third shift at work in West LA- you, not the President, are hurting the economy, and you’re an *******.

If you don’t eat meat, you’re an *******.

If you make out in line at a bank and I can hear the lip smacking and slobber from your mouths, you’re both *******s!

If you’re a multimillionaire twin by your 18th birthday and develop an eating disorder, you’re an *******.

If you recite any one-liner from the Dave Chappell show, as in “I’m Rick James bitch!”…guess what…It was funny when Chappell did it, but you… you’re an *******.

If you get caught pleasuring yourself in public, you’re an *******. Find a better spot than under a tree in the metro park.

If you order a #4 from McDonalds, have it super sized, and ask for a Diet Coke, you’re an *******.

If you wrote an article about why everyone else is an *******, you're an *******.

If you want to change the Second Amendment, I’ll shoot you, you’re an *******.

If you didn’t tell your mother you loved her the last time you spoke, you’re an *******.

If you told my mother you loved her, and you aren’t in my immediate family, you’re an *******.

If you hate the President and/or America, move to France, because you’re an *******.

If you question my bar room authority while you’re in my bar, remember I’m the bouncer, and you’re the *******.

If you’re still reading this, you’re an *******.

If you ever abused a puppy, you’re an *******.

If your parents are *******s you can pretty much assume, you too are an *******.

If you’re roofing next door at 7 AM on a Saturday morning, you woke me up, and you’re an *******.

If you ever made fun of the elderly, you’re an *******.

If you…I can keep going on forever but you, being an *******, are probably sick of reading this, so I’ll quit being an ******* and assume you got the point.

As you can see, there are many *******s out there. Not just in Toronto, *******s are everywhere. For all the *******s out there, I got some advice on how to not be an *******. STOP. Just stop. ****ing stop and think before you do dumb ****. Don’t be an *******!

We had a lot of fun here today. We sure did offend a lot of *******s! If you’d like to talk about your last ******* encounter with an *******, feel free to do so at the bottom of the page in the comments section. Together, we can all stop being *******s and make this world an ******* free place to live.

Thanks for reading …*******.
Rembrant is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of (permalink) Old 04-04-2005, 10:07 PM
Carpal \'Tunnel
wrath's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Waukesha, WI
Posts: 3,323
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Re: Are you an *******?

I'm an ******* but I didn't read the post yet.

It's been a while, mang.
wrath is offline  
post #3 of (permalink) Old 04-04-2005, 10:25 PM
Keyboard Implanted
krabysniper's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: N.Dakota, United States of America
Posts: 4,269
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: Are you an *******?

*ss*ole [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/censor.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
Could u tone it down a little, eh. My kids read this board too [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]
krabysniper is offline  
post #4 of (permalink) Old 04-05-2005, 12:20 AM
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 1,344
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: Are you an *******?

How could you forget people who don't yeild to emergency I hate those people
GTRider245 is offline  
post #5 of (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 11:51 AM
Posts: n/a
Re: Are you an *******?

If you ever called George Ganoe an *******, you should be beaten, he’s the nicest guy alive, and you’re an *******.

I never called this guy an ass hole, but that might be because I don't know who he is.
post #6 of (permalink) Old 04-08-2005, 10:21 PM
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 166
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: Are you an *******?

If you pull close to someone at 75mph to read their bumper sticker, find out its about the earth and drop back half a mile because that threatens your religion, you are an *******.
LWhite is offline  
post #7 of (permalink) Old 04-08-2005, 10:49 PM
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 586
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: Are you an *******?

this brings song to my demented brain by david allan coe or rodney carrington....."were you born an a-hole or did you work at it your whole life? either way it worked out fine cause your and a-hole tonight............" [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/40BEER.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/chairfall.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/givemebeer.gif[/img]
CJBEN is offline  
post #8 of (permalink) Old 04-09-2005, 11:45 AM
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kzoo, MI
Posts: 529
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: Are you an *******?

If you make rules for others to live by, and don't live by them yourself, yep your an *******! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/RockOn.gif[/img]
zdpzimmer68 is offline  
post #9 of (permalink) Old 04-12-2005, 01:12 AM
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 166
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: Are you an *******?

If you claim to be an environmentalist and then turn your back on the off roaders than also love that land, you are an *******.
LWhite is offline  
post #10 of (permalink) Old 04-12-2005, 07:33 AM
Posts: n/a
Re: Are you an *******?

Denis Leary...

I'm an *******, and I'm proud of it. for me... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/givemebeer.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/40BEER.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puke.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/applause.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bow.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/chair.gif[/img]
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Off-Road Forums & Discussion Groups forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome