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OT Need some advice

519 views 11 replies 9 participants last post by  H8monday 
G
#1 ·
About 3 years ago I sold a set of tires to a real good friend of mine. The cost was a little over $500 and I told him to pay me when he could because I knew that I would get the money from him and I was in no big hurry to get the money. A few weeks later he was involved in a bad wreck and was put out of work. To get to the point, a little over a year ago my friend past away due to complications with an illness. Now I am in need of new tires for my truck( my daily ride to get to school and work ). I'm a collage student and basically live on student loans. I know that my friends mom kept his jeep and that it is just sitting at her house, she does not drive it. So my question is, should I approach his mom about getting my tires back? Deep down I feel that she would not mind, but it's hard to tell how people will act in a situation like this. So, should I suck it up and go hungry for a few weeks, or try to approach his mom about the tires?

 
#3 ·
I'd say try talking to the mother. Just let her know what happened. It seems as though it's been long enough, so she shouldn't be too emotional. Sorry to hear about your friend man.

 
#4 ·
I would say you are ok, just go in with the attitude you have now. Explain the story and be nice about it. They are your tires technically and if she is decent, she wouldn't want another dead kid because you got in a wreck with bad tires. Good luck.

 
#5 ·
Humm... you're in quite a quandry aren't you? Well I'm of a different opinion than those who have posted answers.

The problem is that you had struck a bargain with your friend, and when he was hurt you constantly forgave the debt. This was a very honorable thing to do, an I commend you for it.

Now you're friend has passed away. Let the debt pass with him. IMHO it's not worth the pain that you'll bring to the family, or yourself to regain the tires. I suspect that this is one of the only things of value your friend owned and Mom's keeping it out of respect for her son and a desire to keep his influnce around just a while longer.

Grieving is a personal thing, and for some takes a long time. The Jeep is part of that process for his mother. Though I'm sure she'd be gracious and let you regain the tires, it would be adding more pain. Until Mom's ready to let the Jeep go, then to her, removal of the tires would be somewhat like dishonoring her son. It's not the scale or the cost, it's the honour involved.

IMHO, completley forgive the debt, move on and honor your friend in death as you did in life. The tires just ain't worth it and you're bigger than that.

 
#8 ·
i say you have every right to the tires, but i think its more important to just chalk it up to an expense of life and forget about them. they arent worth how it would make the mom feal to see someones messing with her sons stuff. if that jeep is still sitting there not having been driven in that long its obviously means a whole lot to her and it would be to traumatic to even have someone touch it. peopel who lose family members have some weird stuff going on in their heads caused by the shock of losing that person. to her that jeep is part of her son and seeing it in its unaltered state must be very important to her. just compare you situation to hers. you only lost some tires, and overall thats not really that big a deal, she lost everything.

Korans make excelent toilet paper.
 
#9 ·
Agreed.

Anyways, you can save money quick if you don't eat for a few weeks. I find that the diet of your average post-secondary student is equivelant to 4 2'X1' sheets of cardboard daily.

It's really not that bad. add some mustard and ketchup to the cardboard and it tastes just like a hotdog.

 
G
#10 ·
A lot of well said advise. It really depends on the relationship you have kept with the mother also.
Let's face it anyhow, after 5 years on another vehicle AFTER you sold them and over another year just sitting, those tires aren't worth any agrivation to either party. You would be much better off just saving for the new set.
This way there are no flat spots, no dry rot, no cracking...
It's nice of you to think of your friends family though.


'88 Sahara, 4.2 that runs. The rest is getting there!/wwwthreads_images/icons/blush.gif
 
#11 ·
This may sound ridiculous and undesireeable, but the cheapest way to live while a student is to get a job in food services. Usually they allow enough food-sneakage to more than sustain you so you don't have to buy groceries, and you got paid on top of that.

The only downside is the smell of fry grease permeating your person :)

Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you
 
#12 ·
I have to agree 100% with Leve.
I would write it off as a favor to a freind, who is not in position to repay you, at the time.
I am personaly very aggressive and not very flexable in my professional life, but completely opposite in my personal life. I could not feel comfortable asking the mother, and would feel terrible everytime I saw the tires afterwards, if I did.
But to all out there, that brings up a very good subject.
You should have your wills and testaments in order, in case anything does happen. It would be very easy for you and the mother, if he had just left a personal IOU note, in his files to be opened upon death.

Jeff
89 YJ
Adversity is imminent, versatility is mandatory, misery is optional.
 
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