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post #1 of (permalink) Old 09-18-2001, 04:54 PM Thread Starter
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A Message from President George W. Bush

****try to read this witha Bush voice, it makes it Funnier******

If I were President George W. Bush's Speech Writer.

By Mitchell R. Robb

Good evening my fellow Americans.
First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and all
Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured that
anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our country
will be done.
This is the greatest country in the world and we will get through this
trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty
differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the
fortitude of the American people.
To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this: Are you [censored]
kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone
too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are [censored] with?
Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each other every day. We
will relish that opportunity for new targets for our aggression.
Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last people that started
[censored] around with us? Remember the little yellow bastards over in Japan? We
slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in
their own back yard. That's what we in America call a big ass barbecue. Ever
seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted it that
way. Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns.
England? We sent them packing.
Ask your buddy Saddam about [censored] with the good 'ole USA. The only reason
he got away the first time is because it's too hard to shoot someone when
you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't trained to laugh
and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts from
taking over his ****ty little country.
Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try
to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough
that's going to keep your camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of
the country that harbors him, his camps and any place that looks and even
smells like he was there. Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that
have pissed us off in the past. This is
America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the
Tomahawks are coming and very soon we will smoke your sorry asses.

God bless America!

<font color=red>Jeep'n Greg</font color=red>
1985 CJ7 in pieces right now
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post #2 of (permalink) Old 09-18-2001, 10:40 PM
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Re: A Message from President George W. Bush

while I do think it is funny, I dont think bush would ever agree to saying that on TV, he is a pretty Godly man...

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