Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinker
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then
I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
--by Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- Brian O'Rourke
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
<font color=red>Jeep'n Greg</font color=red>