I don't know if this will work for you but when I swapped a T14 for a T18 the only difference between the two switches was the plug part. I pulled the switch from the T14 and installed it in the T18. Worked like a charm and the wire plugged in without any different connectors.
Here is another option. Forget the reverse light plug thing. All that is required by law is a white light come on in reverse, doesn't have to be in the taillight assembly. You probably need more light when backing up anyway, so just wire some lights for the rear of the vehicle. When you get ready to put it in reverse, just remember to flip the switch. I ran into the same problem when I went with my NV4500. The tranny that I bought didn't have the male end of the switch. Dodge(the only place to get it, it is Mopar part) wanted a mint for the whole switch assembly and wouldn't just sale the male end. No one will part with the male end(tried many parts houses and salvage yards).
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<font color=green>llll '90 YJ</font color=green>
<font color=green>"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."-Anon.</font color=green>
When we swapped in a t18 we had the same problem. Never could find one at our local salvage yard. You could just put a switch in the dash but , especially for street driving, it is nice to have the come on and go off with the movement of the shifter. Finally my son soldered some bullet connectors to the wires and modified then to snap on the female fitting on the tranny.
I agree with YJason, simply wire up some rubber encased flood lamp tractor lights under the frame somewhere and run it off a toggle switch and relay. I plan to when I finally get my LED's and my SM420 in my Scrambler.