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post #1 of (permalink) Old 10-16-2007, 06:15 PM Thread Starter
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OT The passing of a friend

Bob Farrow. I've mentioned him a few times on the board. He was about my age - 60 now - and I've known him for over fifty years. He had a terrific personality, was a great storyteller, and a lot of fun to be around in the old days. We palled around, drank together, and chased girls together when I was single. He helped me on several jobs, and came along on the Van Buren run once a few years ago. I worked on his house and his lawn mower and his truck. I winched logs out of his ravine for firewood and pulled out unwanted trees. He taught me a lot about welding and fabrication, and took me to a couple of his big ironworking jobs. We used to take my boat onto the Mississippi and camp, fish and water ski.

Several years ago he developed mental problems - was diagnosed as bi-polar. We tried to get him to stop drinking and take his meds, but he wouldn't listen. Oh, for a few months he'd be OK, but then he'd stop the drugs and start drinking, sometimes a case of beer at a time. He retired form the ironworkers a few years ago, when his fellows wouldn't work with him because of his erratic behavior, and his body was beat up enough to get a medical disability.

We had hoped that without the pressure he'd mellow out, but instead he spent more and more time brooding and drinking. I finally got an order of protection against him after he shot up his brother's house with a 12-gauge over a $50 dispute. For the last few years I've avoided him, both for physical safety and because it hurt so much to see him in his wild and crazy spells.

A couple of years ago his wonderful, smart, beautiful girlfriend left him, praise the Lord. Another girl moved in recently, about whom who I have heard only negatives. This morning about 2:00, they apparently got into an argument and he shot her in the head. She managed to get to a neighbor's and have an ambulance called. I don't know yet if she has survived. He tried to drive away in his truck, but the police blocked him in. For about 10 hours he refused to get out of his truck or talk with negotiators. Finally the cops shot a pepper spray into the truck. He put his pistol to his chin and blew his brains out.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I wish I could warn others, to prevent a similar episode, but I can't think of anything that could have been done. He had been locked up several times, spent a couple of months in a mental institution, had been to shrinks, had friends who loved him and tried to help, but he just wouldn't be helped. R.I.P. Bob. Finally.

EVERYTHING's easy for the guy who doesn't have to do it.
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post #2 of (permalink) Old 10-16-2007, 06:20 PM
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Darned shame... that's about all I can say. I'm glad I ain't God.
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post #3 of (permalink) Old 10-16-2007, 07:46 PM
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I'm sorry Jim.... The guy you describe at the end doesnt sound like the same guy you describe in the first part........try remembering the good friend part.


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post #4 of (permalink) Old 10-16-2007, 08:11 PM
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My wife and I had a similar situation with her uncle and his wife about this time last year. We will never know why but we do is hope that they are in a better place. Having any mental issues is worst then being in jail. I can understand the reason for escape.

Our thoughts are with you.....

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post #5 of (permalink) Old 10-16-2007, 09:20 PM
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Jim, so sorry for your loss........

Don't beat yourself up over guilt thinking you could do more to help. Sometimes things are just beyond your grasp. He was in pain and this was the only way he knew how to end it.

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post #6 of (permalink) Old 10-16-2007, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepnGreg View Post
I'm sorry Jim.... The guy you describe at the end doesnt sound like the same guy you describe in the first part........try remember the good friend part.

I agree whole heartedly...I'm sorry you lost your friend, it sounds like you tried to help when you lost him a long time ago...It's too bad it had to end like this though. You let me know if you need anything, you know where to find me.
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post #7 of (permalink) Old 10-16-2007, 09:49 PM
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Sorry Jim, I had a similar experience years ago and in that instance my friend was deceased long before his body gave out. I am almost ashamed to say we were all relieved in his passing.

Ya only go around once, best to enjoy it the first trip.
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post #8 of (permalink) Old 10-17-2007, 05:30 AM
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I am terribly sorry to hear that. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and his family.

Scott

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post #9 of (permalink) Old 10-17-2007, 05:49 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the kind thoughts all. I am OK with it. It's what almost everyone who knew him expected. Our hope was that he wouldn't take someone with him, but we feared that he would.

As of the late news the girl was still hanging on. Months ago he was arrested for slapping her around in a parking lot because she got him the wrong cigarettes. I couldn't have issued a stronger warning.

EVERYTHING's easy for the guy who doesn't have to do it.
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post #10 of (permalink) Old 10-17-2007, 06:55 AM
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Thanks for posting this Jim. Sometimes just talking about a situation (in this case putting it in writing) is therapeutic. Condolences to you and all his friends and family.
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