Join Date: Nov 2002
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: OT- I NEED NEW FORD JOKES!!!!!
* LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER
"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."
* Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.
* WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS MORE AERODYNAMIC?
So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.
* WHAT'S WORSE THAN DRINKING FROM THE TOLIET?
Driving a Ford
Dusk to dusk
Hump to hump
The ford in
* WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
To push his F-150 back into the shop
* WHY DIDN'T THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
His F-150 got stuck
* WHY ARE FORD DEALERS GIVING AWAY A FREE GERMAN SHEPARD PUPPY WITH EVERY NEW TRUCK?
So the owners will have someone to walk home with.
* Remember the old ford commercial song? " Ford sucks, the worst trucks ever made, Ford sucks"
* Built Ford tough with Chevy stuff!!
* WHY DO THE NEW F-150'S HAVE LARGER SCALE BUMPERS?
It makes it easier on the tow truck.
* DID YOU KNOW THAT FORD HAS A NEW MAGNETIZED BUMPER?
They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.
* To the people who say they would rather push a ford than drive a chevy usually do.
* A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had,how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long,skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Ford truck too"!
* Another country song quoet. Oowo I didn't know the worn out Ford could go so slow you've got to put your foot down on the floor!
* WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE IF YOU HAD 100 FORD TRUCKS AND ONE CHEVY TRUCK?
You would have a good junk yard and one good tow truck.
* License plate holder I saw........."Thank God Ford doesn't build airplanes"
* WHAT SHOULD THE FORD ASPIRE REALLY BE CALLED?
The Ford Expire
* What's up with the Aspire? The only thing thing it could possibly Aspire to be, is pulled by a Chevy tow truck.
* Bumper stickers seen on a ford: 0-60 in 12 miles, Honk if anything falls off, Never get behind a Ford!
* HOW COME FORD MAKES TRACTORS AND CHEVY DOESN'T?
Because Chevy cant get one to run that slow!!!
* Have you beaten a Ford lately???
* From a song that I here on the radio a lot.
"It's another turning point, a Ford stuck in the road."
* Where do ford owners go for help: FORDS ANONIMUS
* HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW SPEED LIMIT SIGNS?
MAXIMUM SPEED LIMIT ----- 65 MILES PER HR. FORDS DO THE BEST YOU CAN
* Line from "popular" commercial
"I have crashed my Ford a thousand times, because it comes with optional brakes"
Ohhhh how crappy you have made me, ohhh how crappy you have made me!
Horrer oh horrer
there went the ford
through the door.
* WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FORD AND A SHOPPING CART?
A shopping cart sure is alot easier to push
* That's not a leak, my Ford's just marking its territory!
* I was driving my Ford truck down the road,
When I realized it was gonna explode.
The Ford motor blew up in my face,
So I put a Chevy motor in it's place.
I drove that truck 'till the body panels rusted away,
But that old Chevy motor still runs to this day!
* WHAT DOES THE GT STAND FOR ON A MUSTANG?
* WHAT SHOULD THE FORD TARUS REALLY BE CALLED?
The FORD Tow-us
* Ford...At least they circled the problem.