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You might be a ricer if...

705 views 8 replies 6 participants last post by  Rockcrusher 
#1 ·
...you think that the movie The Fast & The Furious is the model for modifying cars.
...you find yourself using the excuse, " but you got twice as many cylinders as I do" after every race.
...you drive a 4 door 'Type R', which is really a EX or DX.
...your drooping, gumby pants make it hard to shift.
...more than 20 of your modifications involve shielding what's under the hood.
...you have stickers plastered all over your car that even most Asians don't get or understand.
...you have stickers for parts that you don't even have.
...you have stickers for parts that aren't even MADE for your car.
...you refer to a 50hp NOS system as "The big shot".
...when you drive down the road, illegal Colombians run for cover.
...your car has SO much camber, it can drive on it's side.
...your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the size of the inner diameter of your muffler.
...birds make nests on your spoiler, because it is taller than the trees.
...you sell crack for the image, not the money.
...you have N/T on the side window in shoe polish, but don't have a clue as to what bracket racing is.
...you will only race if the other guy removes enough sparks plugs to equal yours.
...you can't race uphill.
...you have "All Motor" on your rear hatch, right next to your 15.5 dial-in.
...you brag about your nitrous system, but dial-in at 14.5.
...your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-Stock cars.
...you spent more money on stickers than your parents paid for the car.
...you go to performance shops and immediately start digging in the decal bin.
...your tachometer is bigger than your head.
...you have a shift light, and you let your automatic shift by itself.
...you refuse to race because your car is for show only.
...your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip.
...at autocross events you don't run because you have a drag race setup, and at drag racing events, you brag about how you kick ass at autocross.
...you have more lights on the front of your car than the cruise ships.
...you brag about the turbo or NOS kit that never seems to get installed.
...your exhaust sounds like a swarm of bees, or a frog.
...your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine.
...you need a shift-light for the whopping 100hp engine you have in your 16 second car.
...you think that doing a 20 second burnout will make you look cool or tough in your 18 second car.
 
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#7 ·
Yeah, I really take notice when the ricers have more negative camber than firstgen Furd Ringers. Now that, my friend, is some [bleep] up geometry. When the front end starts getting sloppy they get wicked toe-in too. I always wondered how people got them to drive down the road...

But anyway, the rice has started coming out here. I live in BFE and we've got ricers. We have two cars that look like they came out of The Fast and the Slurious. There's a green and black Talon TSi with a wing that's almost as high as the roof that a chick drives and there is this weird little red car with such weird paint and fiberglass I can't identify it. I'm afraid to walk up to it because I might get radiation poisoning or something.
I mean, Talons are cool and to do that to them is morally wrong. The red thing just scares me.

Neither one of them is fast, trust me, I know. If a 20 year old truck with tires taller than their doors with 2.73s can smoke 'em to 60mph then they aren't fast. Of course, I have to cheat and manually shift my truck into second gear when six grand comes around to beat the Talon.
 
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