Zen Sarcasm

[JeepDawg]

Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a
Leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn , so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
Their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed...., Skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
And he will sit in a boat and drink Beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
It back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,
And it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with a woman - Neither one
Works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
Moving.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative

[thorjeep]

6. Never test the depth of the water with both axles.

[CJ7Taz]

Originally Posted by JeepDawg

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Words to live by.

I have an excellent memory, many people have commented on it. I tell them I don’t lie.

They ask what that has to do with it. I tell them if I don’t have to remember who I told what, I’ve got room for a whole lot of other things.

[CJ7Taz]

Originally Posted by JeepDawg

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are Moving.

Old family saying: You have one mouth and two ears so you should listen twice as much as you speak.

It doesn’t translate well to internet forums when you have only 2 eyes but 10 fingers.

[scrapiron]

Originally Posted by CJ7Taz

Old family saying: You have one mouth and two ears so you should listen twice as much as you speak.

It doesn’t translate well to internet forums when you have only 2 eyes but 10 fingers.

I don't know about that. Some of the newer posters might use the two finger hunt and peck method. Obviously those who have posted lots have found that there are more fingers capable of hitting a key here and there.