Hey folks... so I was finally able to get this done.
I'd read in various places online that the D44 doesn't have a crush sleeve, but I didn't want to rely on that. Eventually I was able to find the Dana 44 assembly manual (the actual Dana manual) online and it confirmed this, and also that on the D44 you basically just crank the nut to 200-220 ft-lbs. Since the preload is not set by the torque on the nut, you just crank it down and re-check your preload (I guess you still do this to make sure you didn't mess anything up). This made for a little more peace of mind since I didn't have to worry so much about destroying my crush sleeve, and subsequently, my bearings and/or gears. Although I have to admit, I was only able to get it to about 180-190 ft-lbs, I'm a smaller guy and plus I was so tired by this point that I was just too fatigued to crank it any harder. (Btw, I used a pipe wrench to hold the yoke from turning, this worked well.)
As for the torque measurements, I ended up using the in-lb wrench I already had since I couldn't get a better one in time and since I didn't need the accuracy for this job. Best I could tell, my preload was about 10-15 in-lbs both before and after the job, which is within spec per the Dana manual. That said, I was also looking at the KD one from Sears but since sourpwr posted that 'Bike link I'll be buying one of those.
I'm sure I'll find use for it, I was in horror when I found that my wrench wasn't going to do the job I thought I needed to do, and I never want to be in that situation again.
As for the leak itself, once I got the pinion yoke off (I used a puller) and could see into the neck of the diff, I could see that the spring wrapped around the inner seal lip had completely fallen off!! No wonder why it was leaking! And on top of that, a groove was worn into the yoke.
I ended up buying an SKF seal repair sleeve (# 99155) for $33 (yikes!) from NAPA, but not long afterwards did I find out that Quadratec sell an entire new yoke for something like $47. At the time I thought maybe I'm better off with the sleeve anyway since it's stainless, and also I don't have to worry about driveline balance issues... but then it turns out the Dana manual (ref above) tells you to outright replace the yoke anyway if it is worn... so I guess the yoke doesn't factor into the balancing.
Anyways, if I could do it again I'd just get the new yoke, because the SKF sleeve was BARELY long enough to reach both seal lips. IOW, there's only a slight margin for error where if you don't position it exactly to the right depth on the shaft, the seal lips will miss it completely, or even ride right on the "step" between the sleeve and the shaft. I used a dial caliper and seem to have gotten it in the right spot, but it wasn't worth all the trouble and worry. For anyone reading this, just buy a new yoke!
All that said, I MAY still have a leak because drops are still forming under the diff (about 1 drop/day, MUCH less than before, it was leaking like a sieve), but it's not coming from the seal itself as that area is dry. So it's either coming from the gasket around the cover (which I also replaced since I pulled the cover to change the fluid and to make sure I hadn't cooked or broken my gears when I was running low on lube)... and I don't think it is... or it's coming from AROUND the seal, i.e., where the metal seal enclosure mates with the inside of the diff neck. I am worried about this because when I started the seal into the neck, it ended up cocked, and I had to tap it straight and then drive it the rest of the way in. Hopefully I didn't stretch or bend the metal of the seal disc or I'll be doing all this over again....
It's also possible that it's not leaking at all and that this is just runoff from all the gear oil that had sprayed onto the underside of my diff and chassis while it was leaking. I'll take it to the car wash this weekend to clean it up, and then check for new wet areas after that to be sure.
Thanks for all the help!